Sacrifice

My husband deserves some major credit, here goes.....

Joseph and I decided last year that we would both enter our names in lotteries for events we wanted to do. I entered into the St. George Marathon lottery and he entered into the Lotoja lottery. LOTOJA, is short for LOgan TO JAckson, and is a road cycling race that's believed to be one of the longest single-day road cycling races in North America, if not the world. It starts in Logan, Utah travels into southeastern Idaho and finishes in Teton Village, Wyoming. The course covers 206 miles three mountain passes. The total climbing during the race is nearly 10,000 feet with the race finishing about 1,800 feet higher than it began in Logan.

Lotoja is a race Joseph has wanted to do for a long time. He talked a couple of his friends into putting their name's in and to our surprise, they were all able to get in together. Joseph was thrilled! He has been looking forward to this event and training hard to prepare for it.

We found out within the same week that we were both chosen for our respective lotteries. Though it was the outcome we had hoped for, we didn't really think we would both get into our events. We weren't sure how our training schedules were going to work with me running 4 hours on a Saturday and him needed to ride his bike for 6+ hours, plus take time to drive to elevation atleast an hour away, but we were determined to support each other in our goals. There were some mornings I would wake up at 3:45 a.m. to run 17 miles or so, because that was the only time during the day where I could have a 3 hour block of time to accomplish it. I couldn't run alone outside that early in the morning, so those miles had to be done on a treadmill. Not fun!

We knew this would be just for a few months and then it would all be over, so we decided to just move forward and do our best. Not long after we were chosen, I was called to be in the primary presidency of our ward. I was given the assignment to write the script for primary sacrament meeting program for our ward. None of this was a problem, until I realized the date of the primary program, September 12. The weekend of Lotoja. I knew it was important to Joseph so I told him to plan on doing the race. We explored the option of having him fly home from Jackson Hole to come to the program, but none of the flights were going to arrive in time. I told him that as long as he talked with the kids and broke the news to them, I would fully support his decision to stay in the race. He felt really bad that I had spent so much time working on the program and that he wouldn't be here. I had no problem with that, I just wanted to make sure the kids didn't feel bad about dad missing their big day. A few months ago I had a flight booked to see my sister's new baby Stephen the weekend of Mother's Day. When I told Abby I would be gone, she started crying hysterically because I wouldn't be there for her to sing to me on Mother's Day. I cancelled my airline ticket.

I didn't want Joseph to go through the same thing.

He stalled and stalled and every week I asked him if he had told the kids yet. He told me he hadn't totally decided, so he hadn't mentioned it to them. He told me to buy an airline ticket for my mom to come and help me and to see the kids on the day of the program, and if my mom could come, he would feel much better about doing the race. I bought my mom's ticket and we were set. (Except for the training part, that was still a pain.) A couple of days later my mom called to tell me that she had forgotten that my brother was speaking in their Stake Conference on that day. We cancelled her ticket.

She called back later to tell me that if he still really wanted to do it, she would still come. She arranged with her Stake President to have my brother's talk video-taped.

I told Joseph that my mom would come if he wanted to do the race. He wanted me to decide for him. I told him he had to make the decision and that I would sincerely support him 100%, but I would not tell him what to do. He hated that! He thought about it for a couple more weeks and then made the decision a few weeks ago to stay home. I questioned his decision and askedif he was sure that was what he wanted to do. He said it was. Then came the task of telling his friends (whom he had encouraged to sign up). This is what he said, go ahead an smile, you can totally tell it's him through his style of writing :)

Hello Brothers,

The LOTOJA issue has arisen again. I thought it was at least partially resolved when it appeared Rowene was able to come to California for the LOTOJA weekend; her plans have altered and she cannot come now.

The primary program weekend is a big responsibility and big stress. There will be 8 a.m. practice on Saturday the 11th and Sunday morning Amy will have a lot of responsibilities. Three of my 4 kids have parts and Isaac may be left to his own devices. Amy has spent probably 20 hours on this project already. No one is asking me to stay, but I feel that I need to be here to physically and emotionally support my crew.

The decision comes down to essentially 2 questions:

1. Which event will I miss and love to be at? (LOTOJA)
2. Which event would I regret missing and not supporting? (big Primary Program weekend supporting my famiLee)

I see that I've got one great chance to show Amy and the kids that they come first when recreation plans conflict with family activities. Choosing to attend LOTOJA (being gone Thursday night til Sunday night) would give my wife and kids zero support on a big wonderful stressful weekend.

Trust me, I would love to race LOTOJA with you two fine men, and seeing the grand tetons after 206 miles on the bike would be the culmination of a great year of riding and training. If there wasn't the scheduling conflict, I would be there in a heart beat. Remember last year when I was the only one available to do the Tahoe race? (I raced alone and had a great time.) I guess this time its my schedule that conflicts.

So as you 2 stallions ride with force and fervor across 3 states I will be with you in spirit, cheering you on mentally and emotionally, willing you onward! I would love to be with you but I need to be here to support my crew. I'm bummed there is a scheduling conflict, but I won't regret choosing family first on their important weekend.

I love you my rocking/riding/racing brothers -

Thanks for understanding - and so sorry to let you down in anyway.

Joseph

This is HUGE! He wanted to do it so much, but he chose us! And so as it is, he's out the $200+ non-rufundable registration fee, but add a dozen zeros to that number and that's how much of a deposit he's made in the emotional account of his family. He's our hero! He also told me that much of his decision was based on allowing me to have the right type of training for the marathon. I am grateful. 7 a.m. runs along the Pacific Ocean are far more bearable than 4 a.m. runs on a treadmill.

"Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love, is by far, the truest type of love. "

I love you Joseph, thank you for choosing us!