Count Your Blessings

I have been craving a Utah Fall this week and a drive through the Alpine Loop. I was having a rather emotional night the other night and started crying to Joseph saying, "Sometimes I just want to go home. I'm craving a Utah Fall...." For some reason, this last move has been harder for me than other moves. I think it's because it wasn't a move back to our roots and the people we love so much. Yet, I feel so much joy through our daily living. As I was talking openly with Joseph about all of this one night. Speaking to him of worries and cares and challenges I was having, I turned to him and said, "You know what though, I am grateful for this trial. There are so many things people are working through. I'll gladly work through this one." I hesitate to even call it a trial, but it is for me. Everyone has a longing for something and struggles and challenges to work through.

I loved the Relief Society Meeting last night and it was so appropriate for me that the opening song was Count Your Blessings.

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,

And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,

Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;

Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy

Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,

Do not be disheartened, God is over all;

Count your many blessings, angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

I can't wait to see many of my family members this weekend in St. George. I'm grateful to be able to get my "family fix" so many times throughout the year. We recently realized that even though we've been living in the land of far-far-away California, we've had quite a few occasions to see family in the last 3.5 years. We've seen someone in our family on 35 different occasions in the last 40 months. With each visit lasting on average 3-4 days, I would say that's a large quanity of time. Within this next month, we will get to see family for a total of 14 days. That is a blessing.

I need to keep a proper perspective, because I might just get more face time than family members living within the same state or even city for that matter.

Anyway, the song touched me on so many levels. I think as I am running the 26.2 miles this weekend I will count my blessings to pass the miles. I am hoping that angels will attend and will give me comfort through my 26.2 mile journey. Amidst the busy-ness of family life, I have not been able to train perfectly, so I'll be relying on a higher power to help me through. I'm a bundle of nerves, but I'm excited to embark on the journey and to accomplish something I've had the desire to do for a very long time.

Come Follow Me

I am grateful for my children. In so many ways, I think they were sent to teach me. Each of them has touched my life in a way that has caused me to think about the way I am living and how I need to do better.

Brynn is such a diligent and obedient little girl. Every morning, when she hears the alarm go off, she wakes up and heads straight for the piano to practice. At the beginning of the week, I help the girls with their new material. Once they are comfortable with it, I leave early in the morning to workout, so I am not there to listen. One morning this week, I took a day off and when the alarm went off I heard Brynn walk downstairs to start practicing. After doing her first song, she started to pick out a tune, my first instinct was to holler down for her to keep focused, but as I listened I heard her peck away "Come follow me, the Savior said, then let us in his footsteps tread..." I lay in bed listening, grateful that if she was going to get distracted, atleast it was a distraction that focused on the Savior. She spent all of her practice time figuring out the tune and was thrilled with her accomplishment. Thanks Brynn for being "distracted' by focusing on what matters most. :)

The House We "Almost" Bought

Here's a picture of the house we almost bought. It's a short-sale in our neighborhood. The term "short-sale" is such a misnomer. Before we pulled out, we had been under contract to buy the home for 4 months and the end was nowhere in sight. We thought the end was in sight when we were told that escrow had opened in July and so we secured our loan and were ready to sign all of the paperwork, when our agent called to tell us 2 weeks before our closing date that escrow actually had never opened and that there was a snag with the sellers. It turns out they didn't pay their private mortage insurance and were asking us to pay a fee of about $20,000 because of their neglect. We told them no way, and that we were prepared to walk away. Our current landlord was starting to breathe heavily down our necks to sign another lease, and the seller's bank didn't want to budge, so we walked. The real estate agent asked us to hold on with hope that it would eventually go through, but we didn't feel it would be honest to sign the lease with our landlord with the intention of breaking it, and we didn't want to risk losing any money if escrow actually did open. We were able to get all of our money back, and even though we still don't know what we are doing, we feel good about our decision.

Joseph would like something a little bigger. I am content with the size of the home, but we are both a little apprehensive about buying when we don't know what our future will bring. Joseph loves the company he works for, but we both have a secret desire in our hearts to live closer to extended family someday. (I guess it's not so much a secret anymore ;) If we could guarantee that the home would sell when we were ready to sell it, and if we could guarantee that the home would retain it's value, and even appreciate while we were there, I would love to do it, but it's a home/area we can only see ourselves in for about 3-4 years, and who knows what will happen during that time. If we couldn't sell it at that time, we're confident we could rent it, because we live next to a military base, so there is a pretty solid rental market, but we're not that keen on being landlords. Why do big decisions have to involve so much risk? At this point, we're just being still and trying to give ourselves time to feel what it is we want to do, and what Heavenly Father wants us to do. I felt such peace when we decided to back out. But, maybe it will be right at a later time? I'm grateful that no matter what, we are entitled to peace about our decision and that we can pray for it and receive it.

When we drive past the house, I still really like it, but I'm thinking now that I would love for someone else to buy it and we could rent it. :) I actually like renting. It's like we're dating California. We can enjoy the benefits without having to fork out that $8000-$12,000 a year in property taxes for a tract home. Yes, that's not even the mortage, that's property tax alone. Ridiculous!

I love the backyard. It's my favorite part. It's small, but done very tastefully. Anyway, I'm tired of agents calling, I'm tired of walking through model homes. Somedays I just want to move to a small town in Utah, have a couple more kids and live the simple life, but then I would probably make it to January and cry to be back in the California weather. We'll figure this life out sometime. In the meantime, we're finding alot of joy along journey and I can say that I learned a ton through the process.

Isaac

I love my little Isaac. He has been such a blessing to me. I love all my children and each of them are a blessing, but today I want to write about why Isaac is a blessing. He is a blessing because he helps me to stay focused on what matters most. I love the way he climbs up on my lap multiple times a day with a book and says "read 'tory, read 'tory." If I'm at the computer when he's sitting on my lap, he puts his right hand up, without looking and guides my chin where he wants me to look. It is the sweetest gesture and helps to remind me where my focus and attention should be. I love this little boy. He brings so much joy to our whole family. He literally bounces around the house with a smile.

Our Student of the Week

I received a call from the principal on Thursday inviting me to the Friday assembly to recognize Brynn as Student of the Week. Her teacher wrote that Brynn earned this by "being an exemplary student, always being prepared, attentive, and engaged in learning. Brynn is not only a fabulous student, she is a lovely human being, kind, considerate and smiling each day."
I am very proud of Brynn. I'm proud of both of the girls. It wasn't easy moving to a new school last year in the middle of the year, there were days that my heart was broken because I knew that Brynn was alone, it takes time to make new friends. She always had a great attitude and always got in the car after school with a smile. Fast forward a few months and she has many friends, but she has gone out of her way to make sure those she sees alone are invited to play with her and her friends. I am grateful for the hard things we've been through as a family, not only have they strengthened us and brought us closer together, I think they've also taught us to be more compassionate than we normally would be. Way to go Brynn. Keep up the great work!

I have to mention Abby as well because she was so proud of Brynn. When the principal was walking around, Abby noticed Brynn's name on the certificate and she said that it made her so happy inside. She told me, "Mom, I knew the Mr. Ray was going to say her name and I clapped before anyone else clapped, and I clapped the hardest I could and I screamed as loud as I could because I was so happy for Brynn." I told Abby that she definitely wins the award for being the most supportive sister!

First Day of School

Brynn and Abby started school after a fun summer. They were so excited to get back to school. Both girls were placed in classes with some familiar friends which made them even more excited. We are grateful to be in a great school.

I am thrilled with each of their teachers. They are seasoned teachers and love what they do. Brynn's is a long term sub, while her teacher is on maternity leave, which would normally make me worried, but her long term sub is also a seasoned teacher and very in sync with the regular teacher, so I think the transition should go well. She seems to have great control of the class.

Both teachers have recognized that the girls are above grade level and have done things already to cater to their specific needs. I was so impressed that they addressed this so early and within a couple of days were sending home different assignments that stretched the girls laterally with what they were learning.

I'm loving the math program that both of the girls have. It really focuses on conceptual understanding, but also emphasizes the procedural skills and math fact memorization that I also believe kids need to have. I love the problems they come home with, ones that really make them think, not just sheets of math facts. It gets the kids thinking in abstract ways and I love it!

Labor Day

The girls started school the day after Labor Day this year, so we decided to take a trip to Orange County to visit some of our fun spots up there. When Joseph and I would go to Laguna Beach during his North American days, we would always stop at South Coast Plaza or Fashion Island to shop after landing at the airport. We decided to take a quick trip there and let the girls each pick out a new shirt. I didn't buy any school clothes for the girls this year because they didn't need anything. Living in a climate as temperate as our's, you can pretty much wear the same thing all year long. They have a closet full of clothes they already have a hard time keeping order with, so we settled on a new shirt and new shoes this year. ;)

We also stopped by The Crab Cooker and then headed for Laguna Beach. We enjoyed playing at the beach below the Montage, and exploring around Goff Cove.

When the day was through we headed home for Father's Blessings before tucking the kids into bed. It was a great Labor Day.

A New Van

I stayed home from church today with the boys who are recovering from the stomach flu. Joseph took the girls to church and on the way home Brynn said, "Dad, I've been thinking that it's time for mom to have another baby." This came as a great surprise to Joe because Brynn has expressed multiple times that she doesn't want us to have any more children, in her words, "because mom is always feeding and taking care of the baby."

Joseph asked her why her feelings had changed. She said, "I was just thinking that if we had a baby, we could get a new big van, and that would be really fun."

Joe told her that his family had one of those big vans. She asked him if it was fun. His reply was, "Well, they're fun at first, but then they just feel like a big ol' bus, and they roll around and aren't really that comfortable."

We have some big families in our ward and they have 15 passenger vans. Apparently Brynn digs these vans.

Beach Boys

We enjoyed our last few days of summer at the beach. We've been back to the beach since school started and we plan to go throughout the year, but sometimes we feel this sense of urgency that we have to get there. I was thinking about it the other day, and I remember the days when we lived in much colder climates like Spokane and Utah. Whenever there was good weather, Joseph would insist that whatever was on our to-do list could wait, because we needed to enjoy the sunshine. There are days here when I feel the same, and then I have to remind myself that the weather is nice most of the time. I have plenty of time to enjoy the goodness of it.

The girls were also with us, but they were boogie-boarding and playing with sea plants that had washed up on the shore. No time for pictures.

We had driven separate cars on this day, because I had gone running before we met up. When it was time to leave, I took the girls home with me and Joseph stayed a few minutes longer with the boys. Joseph went in the water for a second with Aaron and didn't realize the tide was coming in. When he looked back, the water had reached Isaac and knocked him over. He was MAD! This boy LOVES water, but not on those terms. Now he tries to stay as far away from the waves as he can.

Wild Animal Park

We ventured out to the Wild Animal Park before school started. Our favorite parts were seeing the baby elephants, watching the African Acrobats and riding on the Zoo Safari. The kids loved playing in the spash pad and we can't wait to go back.

Torrey Pines State Reserve

On a Saturday in August we decided to head about 25 miles south to visit Torrey Pines State Reserve in La Jolla. We loved it! It is one of the wildest stretches of land on the California coast. It consists of 2000 acres of land that has been left as it was before San Diego was developed and it has 8 miles of trails and a visitors center. There are interesting plants and beautiful Torrey pine trees all over the reserve. The kids loved walking around the rock formations and playing in the small caves on our hike. Below the reserve are miles of beaches that you can hike down into and explore. You can also park in the lot down below and walk along the beach. Every beach we visit is unique and it's been fun to explore the different ones in our area. Being there made us think about what California might have looked like before people inhabited the area.

When we made it down to the beach on our hike we walked up to what's known as flat rock (Aaron calls it his pirate ship) and waded through water and played in the tide pools. It was fun to let the sea anemones grasp onto our fingers and feel the spray of the ocean on our faces as the waves crashed.

We brought along Brynn's friend she met at school, who also happens to live up the street from us. We ended the night with a trip to Rubios so Joe and I could get our fish taco fix for the week. ;) We all had a great time! (I realize it looks funny that I have my sunglasses on, when it's not exactly sunny. Two reasons, 1) They are prescription, I have a major astigmatism, and I wanted to wear them in case it became sunny on our hike. 2) I didn't wear any make-up that day. :) In the future, if I ever have my sunglasses on, it's most likely for these reasons. )

Sacrifice

My husband deserves some major credit, here goes.....

Joseph and I decided last year that we would both enter our names in lotteries for events we wanted to do. I entered into the St. George Marathon lottery and he entered into the Lotoja lottery. LOTOJA, is short for LOgan TO JAckson, and is a road cycling race that's believed to be one of the longest single-day road cycling races in North America, if not the world. It starts in Logan, Utah travels into southeastern Idaho and finishes in Teton Village, Wyoming. The course covers 206 miles three mountain passes. The total climbing during the race is nearly 10,000 feet with the race finishing about 1,800 feet higher than it began in Logan.

Lotoja is a race Joseph has wanted to do for a long time. He talked a couple of his friends into putting their name's in and to our surprise, they were all able to get in together. Joseph was thrilled! He has been looking forward to this event and training hard to prepare for it.

We found out within the same week that we were both chosen for our respective lotteries. Though it was the outcome we had hoped for, we didn't really think we would both get into our events. We weren't sure how our training schedules were going to work with me running 4 hours on a Saturday and him needed to ride his bike for 6+ hours, plus take time to drive to elevation atleast an hour away, but we were determined to support each other in our goals. There were some mornings I would wake up at 3:45 a.m. to run 17 miles or so, because that was the only time during the day where I could have a 3 hour block of time to accomplish it. I couldn't run alone outside that early in the morning, so those miles had to be done on a treadmill. Not fun!

We knew this would be just for a few months and then it would all be over, so we decided to just move forward and do our best. Not long after we were chosen, I was called to be in the primary presidency of our ward. I was given the assignment to write the script for primary sacrament meeting program for our ward. None of this was a problem, until I realized the date of the primary program, September 12. The weekend of Lotoja. I knew it was important to Joseph so I told him to plan on doing the race. We explored the option of having him fly home from Jackson Hole to come to the program, but none of the flights were going to arrive in time. I told him that as long as he talked with the kids and broke the news to them, I would fully support his decision to stay in the race. He felt really bad that I had spent so much time working on the program and that he wouldn't be here. I had no problem with that, I just wanted to make sure the kids didn't feel bad about dad missing their big day. A few months ago I had a flight booked to see my sister's new baby Stephen the weekend of Mother's Day. When I told Abby I would be gone, she started crying hysterically because I wouldn't be there for her to sing to me on Mother's Day. I cancelled my airline ticket.

I didn't want Joseph to go through the same thing.

He stalled and stalled and every week I asked him if he had told the kids yet. He told me he hadn't totally decided, so he hadn't mentioned it to them. He told me to buy an airline ticket for my mom to come and help me and to see the kids on the day of the program, and if my mom could come, he would feel much better about doing the race. I bought my mom's ticket and we were set. (Except for the training part, that was still a pain.) A couple of days later my mom called to tell me that she had forgotten that my brother was speaking in their Stake Conference on that day. We cancelled her ticket.

She called back later to tell me that if he still really wanted to do it, she would still come. She arranged with her Stake President to have my brother's talk video-taped.

I told Joseph that my mom would come if he wanted to do the race. He wanted me to decide for him. I told him he had to make the decision and that I would sincerely support him 100%, but I would not tell him what to do. He hated that! He thought about it for a couple more weeks and then made the decision a few weeks ago to stay home. I questioned his decision and askedif he was sure that was what he wanted to do. He said it was. Then came the task of telling his friends (whom he had encouraged to sign up). This is what he said, go ahead an smile, you can totally tell it's him through his style of writing :)

Hello Brothers,

The LOTOJA issue has arisen again. I thought it was at least partially resolved when it appeared Rowene was able to come to California for the LOTOJA weekend; her plans have altered and she cannot come now.

The primary program weekend is a big responsibility and big stress. There will be 8 a.m. practice on Saturday the 11th and Sunday morning Amy will have a lot of responsibilities. Three of my 4 kids have parts and Isaac may be left to his own devices. Amy has spent probably 20 hours on this project already. No one is asking me to stay, but I feel that I need to be here to physically and emotionally support my crew.

The decision comes down to essentially 2 questions:

1. Which event will I miss and love to be at? (LOTOJA)
2. Which event would I regret missing and not supporting? (big Primary Program weekend supporting my famiLee)

I see that I've got one great chance to show Amy and the kids that they come first when recreation plans conflict with family activities. Choosing to attend LOTOJA (being gone Thursday night til Sunday night) would give my wife and kids zero support on a big wonderful stressful weekend.

Trust me, I would love to race LOTOJA with you two fine men, and seeing the grand tetons after 206 miles on the bike would be the culmination of a great year of riding and training. If there wasn't the scheduling conflict, I would be there in a heart beat. Remember last year when I was the only one available to do the Tahoe race? (I raced alone and had a great time.) I guess this time its my schedule that conflicts.

So as you 2 stallions ride with force and fervor across 3 states I will be with you in spirit, cheering you on mentally and emotionally, willing you onward! I would love to be with you but I need to be here to support my crew. I'm bummed there is a scheduling conflict, but I won't regret choosing family first on their important weekend.

I love you my rocking/riding/racing brothers -

Thanks for understanding - and so sorry to let you down in anyway.

Joseph

This is HUGE! He wanted to do it so much, but he chose us! And so as it is, he's out the $200+ non-rufundable registration fee, but add a dozen zeros to that number and that's how much of a deposit he's made in the emotional account of his family. He's our hero! He also told me that much of his decision was based on allowing me to have the right type of training for the marathon. I am grateful. 7 a.m. runs along the Pacific Ocean are far more bearable than 4 a.m. runs on a treadmill.

"Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love, is by far, the truest type of love. "

I love you Joseph, thank you for choosing us!

The San Diego Zoo

A couple of months ago Brynn asked us when we were going to do some of the Southern California things, like Disneyland, Legoland, Sea World, The San Diego Zoo, Wild Animal Park, etc. There are so many choices that's it's been hard to decide what to do. I could seriously spend thousands a year on annual passes. And then you have to make sure to find the time to go to all of them to make it worth it. Hmmmm, we'll have to figure out how to do it. Maybe Christmas presents? A different one each year? I decided that since the zoo/animal park were the most inexpensive that's what we would do first.

I took the kids to the zoo a few weeks ago and we had a great time! When we arrived home and Joseph looked through the pictures, he asked where the pictures were of his kids with some cool animals. We are lucky there are pictures of our trip at all because I am not very good at remembering to take pictures, let alone bring a camera along.
Isaac fell asleep on the way there so we had to wake him up. I was worried that he would be cranky, but he was really excited to explore this new place.

We ditched our stroller early on because Isaac wanted to walk most of they way and be up close to see the animals. At one point Isaac turned his hat around. He looked so cute. People at the zoo were pretty entertained watching him explore.

Aaron was fascinated with all of the maps. We had to stop at every map so he could tell us where we were. I love maps too!

The double-decker bus saved us! The zoo is 18 acres. That's alot to walk through! We hopped on the bus a few times and took a ride around the zoo looking at different exhibits. It was a great way to see the zoo and a great break for all of us. We tried the top level and the bottom level of the bus, the jury's still out on which one is the best, we all voted that both had it's advantages.

Aaron led us all over to the hula-hoop competition. I didn't even know he knew how to do it! His moves were really cute to watch! He made funny faces and twisted his body every way in order to keep that hoop up.

We closed the place down at about 9:00 that night. Right before we were ready to go, we realized that our annual passes include unlimited rides on the skyfari, which is a gondola that takes you from one end of the zoo to the other. You can feel the cool ocean breeze and see the skyline of downtown. It was very cool to ride on. I rode with Aaron and Isaac and Brynn and Abby were able to ride together. They felt so mature doing it on their own.

The funniest and most irritating part of the day for me was seeing the adults that take a MILLION pictures of the animals. Most of them are taking pictures through glass. Really, how good can their pictures be? I am sure they could go online and find a much better quality photo of a polar bear. Almost all of these are adults there with no children; I know that the zoo is not just for children, but you would think that people going to a zoo would expect that there would be children there, and you would hope that they would be able to tolerate that.

The zoo is a welcome place for kids, it's these crazy animal-loving, human-hating, the world is overpopulated-adults that hang out at the zoo that get to me. They get sooooo annoyed with the kids at the zoo. (It must be the overpopulating thing.) When one of them found out all four of my kids were mine, she gasped, "Oh my G%$, that's too many!" She caught herself and said, "Well, they're beautiful, you must be very proud." Anyway, one particular guy was smashed up against the glass with his point and shoot, taking a ton of pictures of this jaguar that was walking back and forth. There were tons of kids that couldn't see the jaguar and this guy wouldn't budge! Parents finally just let their kids crowd around him so they could get a peek of the jaguar. This guy was MIFFED! His girlfriend walked over and as they scrolled through his pictures he said very loudly, "I would have gotten alot more, but some parents don't know how to keep their children away from the glass!" I could not believe my ears. Here he was, nearly 6 feet tall, with his body and point and shoot pressed up to the glass while the little 2 1/2 feet tall toddlers could see nothing but his backside. He needed his mommy to get him away from the glass! Aside from that it was a great day.

We loved the zoo and can't wait to go back!